Do you remember the feeling when you liked being associated with a cool thing, with your identity? You were the best in sports, always updated with Bollywood, the most social person, the strongest, a bully, partying the hardest, and knew all the gossip – something people used to come to you for. And that made you feel important. Needed. This was about the time when we were in school & college.

In your 20s, it can be things like being the silent person in the room, not using social media at all, only having 2 friends and not wanting more – basically being different from others. Anything that would make you feel you’re different and unique. Who doesn’t wanna feel that?

But the scariest thing I have noticed about this is that once you label yourself as something, it’s difficult to get out of it. A couple of examples,

• You’re the guy who doesn’t use social media. You don’t post, don’t follow many people, and you’re not updated with the current memes and trends. Every time people around you spoke about it, you couldn’t be more nonchalant. This makes you unique in your group. This becomes your identity. You’re the guy who “doesn’t use social media”. It’s enough for a random person to say it to you, for you to get it in your head. You’re cool now. But let’s say you wanna try something tomorrow. You probably have to create content for business, or are actually interested in vlogging. What happens then? It’ll be tough. Since you’re already associated as a person who’s too cool for social media, using it now will take away that unique identity you had.
• Let’s say you’re someone who dresses the best. No matter what the place, occasion, or time, your outfits always rock. You’re the fashion girl. People come to you for fashion tips, ask for recommendations, etc. You like the attention. You believe you’re the best at fashion. This is your identity now. What happens when you (A) want to learn more about it? Or (B) want to move towards sustainable fashion? In scenario A, you’ll face the difficulty of admitting you aren’t the best at fashion. A direct hit to your identity of being the best at fashion. Acceptance of being average would take time and thus your learning would be delayed. In scenario B, you’ll find it tough to make the shift to sustainable fashion. It doesn’t need you to be updated with the trends as much. No one is gonna come to you for advice now. You’ll eventually lose the identity you once had.

You can think this for yourself for any identity you associate with:

• Being a social person – You can’t have time for yourself
• Being someone who always eats healthy – You can’t enjoy dinner with your friends
• Someone who only wears a black t-shirt – difficult to get out of that comfort zone and try new styles
• Someone who has only had 2 friends since school – difficult to talk to people
• Someone who had girls coming to him in school – difficult to approach girls in the future

You understand it by now.

The best way to not fall into this identity trap is never to associate yourself with one thing. Don’t make one thing your identity. Imagine you’re water. You’ll flow as life takes you. It’s ok if you have only heard rap till now, you can try K-pop. It’s ok if you have never danced before, you can go to a club and enjoy. It’s ok if you only wear slim-fit clothes, you can try streetwear too.

You can do anything. Hain kaun yaha jo rokega.